Latest posts by Nayab Imtiaz (see all)
- Why Talking About Rape Culture Elicits a Backlash? - April 9, 2017
- My Dreams Are Bigger Than My Size - March 11, 2017
- Let The Man Rest in Peace, Is It Too Much To Ask? - December 11, 2016
The most backlash that I get is mostly on the topics like rape culture and marital rape, people just won’t accept the fact that it actually exists in our society. They outright refuse it, and just makes me sad and leaves me agitated. A couple of days ago I shared an article, which talked about how intentionally ingrain in our children, especially boys, rape culture and it elicited more of a reactive reaction from people. Following are the most common responses that I usually get.
This Can’t Happen in a Pakistani Society
Yeah, like we never used the statements like, ‘’boys be boys’’ and ‘’you must have done something to make him mad.’’ This mentality is more common than you think it is. Just because we are OBSESSED with presenting a ‘’positive image’’ of Pakistan, doesn’t mean we start ignoring and outright denying the existence of such a serious issue, and that what makes millions of people suffer and not just women.
But it is a Girl’s Responsibility to Guard Her Modesty
Everyone is responsible for what they say and do, but do not use it as a justification of rape. Don’t put it all on a woman. Don’t let your daughters cover all up while not teaching your sons the basics of consent. Don’t tell your daughters they are solely responsible if someone harasses them because it is NOT okay.
But Husband has Rights over his Wife
So does the wife, but unfortunately in our society that part is neglected. If a woman expresses her sexuality (even if she is in a marriage) she is characterless, but when a man does it, it becomes his ‘’right.’’ This is nothing but pure hypocrisy and patriarchal bullshit. Nowhere in scriptures, it is said that a man is allowed to force himself on his wife (which is by definition, marital rape). So this logic does nothing but pisses me off.
But this is West’s Agenda
No, this is your own agenda. Not everything is West’s agenda. Why is it west’s agenda in the first place? Because the R-word is too much for you? So you better stop making excuses and justify the act by saying stuff like, ‘’she must have done something,’’ and ‘’he is a man.’’ Just because he’s a man, doesn’t mean he can’t keep it in.
But But But…
No buts. Rape is a heinous crime even if it is inside a wedlock, and it’s time we start considering it one.