Mehwish Qureshi

Mehwish Qureshi

Mehwish Qureshi is an idiosyncratic individual. Honest in her words, her urge to write is captivating. Her thrive for words knows no bounds, you can catch her on her blog at:
Mehwish Qureshi

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In our society women are thought of as caretakers, as dependants and of course procreators. They are viewed upon as the fairer, weaker sex and to be protected. Anything contradictory to the above description remains unacceptable. Most women face unhealthy abuse; verbal or otherwise, if they are anything other than the “requirement”. They are subject to both physical abuse and psychological pressures, if they do not fit the bill. They are constantly put down for their idiosyncrasies, they are degraded, demeaned and disgraced for their mind set and opinions. It’s like being divergent in a world of sub-categorised individuals. If you don’t fit the description, you are exiled from the societal norms and thought of as an extra-terrestrial.

There was a time when a philosopher, an alchemist and an artist were the same person. Today, women when given the right to educate themselves are still expected to stop pursuing their dreams, after a point. They are expected to let fourteen years of education, give or take a few, be left stagnant while they take the roles of mothers and housewives. They are to put all their ideas and dreams of their own on pause, while they reproduce and get picked like livestock for breeding. Consequently, their personalities are dissected in detail by the elder women of their families and are made to endure the incessant questionnaires of probing “aunties”. Constantly, are we asked to justify our educational choices, our friendships with the male gender and of course the reason we wish to go out and have a little fun. We are even asked to justify the recreational activities we partake in, and why we think we should do so. I mean when was the last time the male gender was asked to justify before they left their homes!

What’s more ghastly is that if we think to answer the incessant questions with a question, we are then thought of as arrogant. Our parents are blamed for improper child-rearing and we are black balled among “rishta aunties”. Our mothers constantly stressed by the number of dependants in the household and the ratio of daughters, make it their life’s purpose to psychologically pressure us. They think if we are used to constant bickering, constant nagging about cleaning the house, cooking and bugged to always dress properly then when we get married we will be used to ill-treatment. Instead of giving us the means to prepare ourselves as the force to create a better tomorrow, we are undermined and constantly told off. We are put under emotional and psychological stress, if we do not agree to subject ourselves to the constant strangers coming in to our homes to analyse our person like we were in a zoo. Alternatively, if we object to the way our lives are being run then we are told to leave the household. That’s the statement that keeps us under pressure, the ultimate threat – to get out of the house!

I am a pro-family woman, every one hopes to find a loving guy, with a good family and to end up with little ones someday. On the other hand, I also am a person who hates cooking and cleaning every day, who wishes to be a catalyst of change in my life and among my surroundings. I want to work, to utilize my education, to be an entrepreneur and create equal job opportunities for everyone. I often feel that not a lot of us, are given the right to choose when to settle down, or who to settle down with. More often, we are expected to just put a halt to any ideas we might have for our own development. We are always expected to be the compromisers, to put the needs of others before ourselves. To be the one to ensure that our off-springs, our dependants all make wise life choices, even though we are stuck in the role of caregiver whether or not we want to. Similarly, we are tasked with mediocre everyday house maintenance activities whether or not we like them. We are thought to possess the abilities and entrusted to be care takers, yet when it comes to making life choices for ourselves. We are labelled as immature and incompetent. I just think that as a woman I am capable to do so much, yet held back due to the lack of a healthy support system, especially when it comes to the way I want to live my life.