Latest posts by Nayab Imtiaz (see all)
- Why Talking About Rape Culture Elicits a Backlash? - April 9, 2017
- My Dreams Are Bigger Than My Size - March 11, 2017
- Let The Man Rest in Peace, Is It Too Much To Ask? - December 11, 2016
It’s genuinely perplexing how most men don’t want women in position of power because, ‘’they are the slaves to their emotions/hormones’’ and yet one of the first lines of defence in rape cases tends to be ‘’it is hardly his fault, it was because of the way she was dressed, how could we expect him to control himself?’’ We live a society where rape victim are shunned for bringing ‘’disgrace’’ to the family while the rapists are just the ‘’weak poor men who were enticed by the Wicked Witches’’ and should be ‘’forgiven’’. We live in a society where the music tells women ‘’you know you want it’’ because of these blurred lines of consent.
Rape culture is when our movies promote ‘’hassi tou phassi’’ and men on social media people pass rape jokes and when you respond them, you are either told to ‘’calm down’’ or you are labeled as ‘’man-hater’’ or ‘’wannabe liberal.’’ The problem is, we don’t bat an eye when our children and our youth watch Fifty Shades and do wah wah on dramas like Sangat but go bat shit crazy when dramas/movies like Udaari and Pink come out, because ‘’OH MY GAWD bachon k daikhnay wala nae hai.’’ I think, it’s just about time the movie, ‘Pink’ came out, but since it is about the very thing that is so ohmygawd that the moment it came out people labeled it as ‘’controversial’’ and ‘’not to be watched by kids.’’ It raises a question, why do we refuse to talk about tabooed stuff? Rape culture is real, Patriarchy is real, why deny the facts in sight?
We teach our daughters to dress ‘’properly’’ but why do not we teach our sons the importance of consent? Why don’t we teach our sons to take ‘’no’’ without being aggressive and violent? That is exactly the ‘’controversial’’ movie was about, the first in a very long time that actually moved me and left me in tears, because it was such a brilliant and heart wrenching insight into reality.
‘’Na sirf aik shabt nahi, apne aap me aik pura waqiya hai, your honor. Essy kissi tarak ya explanation ki zaroorat nae hoty. Na ka matlab na hee hota hai. My clients said “No” your honor and these boys must realize, no ka matlb no hota hai. Usse bolnay wali larki friend ho, girlfriend ho koi sexworker ho ya aapki apni biwi hee kyun na ho. No means NO and when someone says no, you STOP.’’
Marital rape is still rape. There is no such thing as ‘’consensual rape.’’ Rape is Rape and it is a crime. End of story. No one ‘’asks’’ to get raped. It has nothing to do with dressing. It has nothing do with smiling and drinking vine, and everything to do with false concepts of masculinity and double standards of society. Our boys really need to understand rape jokes are NOT cool, accepting ‘’no’’ for an answer would NOT hurt their masculinity and that forcing a woman does NOT make them more of a man. Rape culture is real and shying away from discussing it brings more harm than good. Keep your daughters in dark does not help them, it destroys them, and keeping your sons in dark make them the easy targets for society to turn them into animals who ‘’can’t control themselves.’’
What now? Watch ‘Pink’ if you haven’t already and let’s discuss it to put an end to hideous ideologies.