Muntazir Sherazi
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Muntazir Sherazi

Muntazir likes rock, back coffee, politics and long walks on the beach. Often at the same time.
Muntazir Sherazi
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Note : It’s a satire 

Mr. Ahsan Mohammad, a 30 something engineer, has been going through some financial problems for the last couple of years. After his marriage to Mrs. Ahsan, a 20 something doctor, Mr. Ahsan has run into some financial trouble as he has to provide for his wife and their new born child, with another on the way.

We asked Mr. Ahsan about how he ran into financial trouble, to which he said “I have a pregnant wife and a baby girl. I have to provide for them”. We then asked him about where his wife worked, to which Mr. Ahsan responded “meri bivi Shareef Aurat hai” (My wife is a virtuous woman).

The answer shocked us, as it would shock any decent human being. We asked him to explain what he meant by that.

“Dekhein jee, aurat ki jagah ghar mein hai. Aurat doodh ki tarha hoti hai, ziada dair bahir chorein tou kharab hojayegi  (Look, a woman’s place is at home. A woman is like milk, if you leave it out for too long it will get spoilt).”

We tried to show him that his financial situation could be improved if he let his wife work. The man would have none of it and said

“Hum ghaas kha lein gay, per apni bivi ko kharab nai honay doon ga” (We will eat grass, but I won’t let my wife be corrupted).

We advised Mr. Ahsan that having 2 children in 18 months was probably a bad idea and would obviously make his already precarious financial more dire, to which he said

“yaar pehlay larki hogai thi. Larka kerna tha or enjoy bhi kerna hota hai na” (Bro, I had a girl first. Having a boy was important and I have to enjoy too).

He further added as he smiled at his wife

“aur aapki bhabhi ko Sara din kuch kernay Kay liye bhi you chahiye” (and your sister in law needs something to occupy herself with during the day).

We asked him what went wrong in his life that he had such an absurd opinion about women, to which he replied

“My father taught me that my honor is inside my wife’s vagina, so I have to protect it by all means”.

We asked Mrs. Ahsan if she wanted to work or have more children but her husband didn’t let her speak and said “Why are you talking to my wife? Are you sleeping with her?” We tried to explain that this was an absurd allegation but Mr. Ahsan got more agitated and started pushing us and hurling abuse at us. When we finally go to the gate, Mr. Ahsan leaned and whispered

“Jiggar mind na kerna, bachi say milnay jana hai late hogaya hoon” (bro, don’t be offended, I have to go meet my girlfriend)

Shehzad took a picture of Mr. Ahsan and we both dropped our heads in disappointment and left.