Increasingly, there’s a lot of information on the Internet about asexuality. For the past couple of years it’s been getting a wider attention, yet it’s still an often misunderstood sexual identity.
Coming out is an important part of the asexual experience. Most asexual consider coming out at some point. Often, they’ll confide in a close friends, other times, they’ll dive in with a running leap and announce their orientation to the entire world. Some decide to remain in the closet until they feel comfortable or they don’t.
Today i’m writing to share how i came to the realization that i’m “Asexual”
For me my journey with Asexuality started when i was in high school. It might have started before that but l’ll share from there. I was a senior in high school back in 2012 i remember when almost everyone of my friends got involved in a relationship and some of them got engaged or married I would feel really happy for them but in the back of my head i always said this life isn’t for me. Something just didn’t feel right and i felt like one day i’ll be pressured to be with someone who I don’t think of in that way.
For me i didn’t understand why i didn’t have those feelings like wanting to be with someone and find true love like other girls around me.
It felt like its a requirement like if i turn to a certain age and not find someone and get married and have kids then people will think there’s something seriously wrong with me.
I began my search in the INTERNET found a lot of useful and relate-able information.
For a long time, it didn’t even occur to me that there was a sexual orientation that defined me, or that there were other people out there like me who didn’t see relationships with people through a sexual lens.
Understanding this new world of asexuality has been an important step in coming to terms with these feelings
And for a lot of asexual, being able to say they are asexual is an incredibly important identifier and “coming out” is just as much of step as it is for those who do not define themselves as heterosexuals.
When i knew about Asexuality i remember telling two of my closest friend at the time i wasn’t sure yet and i was hoping that maybe i’m not so i was like i think i’m “Asexual” they didn’t understand what that meant I explained it to them and they thought that maybe it was a phase and that I’m just confused since i’m still too young and I I haven’t been with someone or experienced any relationship like how would i know ?
I felt really ashamed and alone I didn’t want to be an asexual! I just wanted to be normal. I thought that maybe something is wrong with me so I talk to an actual doctor.. physically everything was fine. There’s nothing wrong . “He said to me that i shouldn’t over think stuff and that I’m beautiful and i’m too young” I trusted the doctor’s judgment a lot and I thought that maybe he’s right..
3 years went by and it still felt the same but i was more open and starting to be more accepting of my sexuality. Unfortunately I got a lot of reactions mostly negative ones . I wondered why can others feel free to express their sexuality, but I was punished for lacking mine? It made me sad that people didn’t fully understand. I felt like i’m from another planet. And every human should have sexual feeling?
Even though i was in America at the time. i though that people will be more understanding and accepting but not towards asexuality, but still in today’s society bombarded with sexual innuendos, it’s hard for others to understand an asexual person.
One day tried explaining that to my mother but she didn’t even want to listen since like its another Sexuality than being “heterosexual” since that i’m from a Muslim Arab family that she maybe that it was a phase and that I was just saying this to get attention.
I’m more open to my mom and a lot of people but i’m not fully out yet. Sexuality is a very taboo topic here in the middle east I get a lot of discrimination and hate in the Internet just for saying that I’m an asexual I’m not ready to face that to from my friends and relatives too . I explained it to some family members my mom and and my sisters too. They kind of don’t fully understand it but its OK.
I just started first “asexual Arabs” account on twitter i’m Aiming to spread awareness and make a community for people like me in the middle east. I just want people like me to know that they are being taken very seriously and they shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed of who they are anymore more.
Till this day I still get people that don’t understand what is asexuality means and that we are just people who want to be against humanity and against god. Specially for me as a woman they are so ignorant that they think woman were made to work as “Baby machines” which is very sickening and totally against religion.
Since i’m Muslim there’s actually no fault Starting a family is
considered a good deed and encouraged, but by no means obliged in Islam. You can live a perfectly good and happy life as a good Muslim without doing so. Influence the world around you with you actions
If you don’t want marriage there is no need to force yourself into it.
On the other hand, if you did want marriage, but didn’t want sex, that would be a different situation, since it brings up the issue of potentially depriving your spouse. You would just have to find someone who shares your feelings about sex, which may be hard to do, but , everything is possible.
Finally, i found this quote and i think some asexual would relate to ..
“Happiness is often associated with romantic love. I don’t think that’s right. Happiness is when your dog licks your face. Happiness is when the food in front of you makes your mouth water. Happiness is when you stay up late talking to an old friend. Happiness is when your mom says a bad joke by you laugh anyway. We need to stop associating happiness with love, and start associating happiness with life.”
Feature Image : Asexuality via Medical Daily